In last week’s post, we listed three tips to ensure fruitfulness in ministry no matter where you are.  Those tips were:

Tip #1: Pray like everything depends on it … because it does.

Tip #2: Regularly take time to be alone with God.

Tip #3: Take time away from your work as a leader to be alone with your family.

This week, we want to continue with tips four through six.

Tip #4: When you need help, seek it from healthy congregations.  Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help from others when you need it, even if they are not from your denomination.  If you are concerned about seeking help from churches that differ in doctrines from yours, remember that normally you are seeking help from churches in areas unrelated to doctrine.  You might ask for help in:

  • Leadership development
  • Teaching methods or curriculum ideas for Christian Education
  • Methods to use in the decision-making process
  • Advice on music for worship,
  • Or ideas for restructuring your building, especially if you have a large sanctuary and very few people to put in that sanctuary. 

Help is often available from preachers, staff and congregations in your city or from sources outside your area.  Don’t allow fear or shame to cripple your efforts in ministry.  Ask for help.

I’ve learned this lesson the hard way.  Growing up in a fundamentally conservative church, I found it difficult to talk with people that differed with me doctrinally.  I came to understand that most preachers were not going to argue doctrine with me.  They were not trying to convert me to their way of thinking.  Simply wanting a friend in ministry, they looked for fellowship and an opportunity to talk about ideas relevant to ministry.

In my last ministry, I watched as a church across town built an addition.  I’ve had many discussions with this church’s minister about building projects and the politics involved with local government in construction.  On another occasion, a larger church reached out to our congregation with VBS material.  Not only did they have all the curriculum, but they also provided us their stage props.  We saved $1000 from their generous gift.  On many occasions, I’ve walked through their building to look for ideas that we can use in our Sunday School.  I’ve learned to share ideas and conversations with many preachers not associated with my church group, ideas that helped me develop my leadership potential.  Thank God for these leaders who were not afraid to welcome me into their world.

Tip #5: Find a friend, a fellow minister, a group of ministers, or a counselor that will confidentially listen to you when you need to talk to someone.  This person or group must be able to listen compassionately and must be able to care enough to confront you.  Look for someone other than your spouse.  Your spouse is in the middle of the turmoil along with you.  You require someone to see things without a biased perspective.  In most cases, your spouse tends to see things from your perspective.

When I came to Gillette, WY, someone encouraged me to get involved with a group of preachers that met for coffee at a local coffee shop.  Like a life preserver around my neck, this group listened to me, laughed with me and at me, challenged my understanding of Scripture, prayed for me and at times, cried with me.  Never has there been a tone of indignation, judgment or animosity.  On many occasions I reminded our church secretary not to schedule any appointments for me during this special time on Thursday morning.  This was, and still is, my small group.  I am not the preacher, the pastor, the priest or the minister.  I don’t lead the group, control the group or prepare for the group.  I simply go to find and give encouragement and grace.

Now at the age when many of my teachers and mentors have passed from this life, I still yearn for a listening ear, an ear that is not afraid to hear, evaluate, respond to and challenge what I say.  With God’s help, I found such an ear in someone half my age.  While we come from diverse cultural and theological backgrounds, we have found the equipment and materials to build and maintain a bridge that spans the age gap and culture barriers that would normally keep people separated from one another.  We both completed post-graduate degrees.  We both made ministry a priority in our lives although I come from a pastoral field and he from chaplaincy.  We both love the Lord and the study of His Word.  We are not afraid to listen to one another, console or challenge one another as required by the need of the moment.  We both highly respect one another.

Be open to the people that God may bring along side of you as you walk through this life.  Never be afraid of someone challenging your thinking.  Your sword is sharpened only by his/her challenges.  Never be afraid of being transparent with someone you trust and respect.

Tip #6: Learn to laugh heartily.  A three-legged dog walked into a bar one night.  He growled and barked out a question.  “I just want to know who shot my pa(w)?”  OK, it’s better spoken than written.  You’ve heard about the ink blot that was unhappy?  Someone asked her why she was so unhappy.  Sobbing, she cried, “My dad is still in the pen.”

I know what you’re thinking.  I need to keep my day job.  It’s OK.  I’m retired.

Four of our grand children came to visit with us.  Wanting to watch something on TV, I suggested we watch Tom and Jerry.  I’m assuming that everyone has some idea about Tom and Jerry.  If not, go to YouTube and type in “Tom and Jerry.”  You’ll enjoy hours of uproarious comedy and laughter.  Our granddaughter, Karis, laughed and laughed and laughed.  Her folks had never introduced her or her siblings to Tom and Jerry.

Nearly fifty years ago I attended Bible College and a few years after that, seminary.  Both schools offered courses in counseling for my field, but nothing prepared me for the onslaught of misery faced by people in the last twenty years.  Those that threaten suicide.  The families of those that commit suicide.  Child abuse.  Elder abuse.  Wife abuse.  Drug and alcohol addiction.  Rape.  Couples living together.  Deviant sex practices.  Children living in foster homes or with grandparents rather than with their biological parents.  Bankruptcy.  Divorce.  Job loss.  Death.  Trauma.  All these categories have an anchor in the world of sin. 

If these worldly actions aren’t bad enough, we face struggles inside our churches. Board members that can’t get along.  Women that fight with one another.  Ministers and elders that oppose one another.  Fights over the style of music or the order of worship.  Budget shortfalls.  Dying churches.  Church splits.  Immorality among those called to ministry.  Screens or hymnals?  Chairs or pews?  Of course, the classic case is the color of the carpet.  Heavy sigh.

At one of our Thursday coffee events, our friend, Gordon, brought a picture of him and his wife seated in their lawn chairs on the grounds of their newly purchased property.  For the past 30 years, they’ve rented a house.  Relaxed in their lawn chairs with smiles on their faces, they sent the picture and wrote to their children and grandchildren to let them know that they had finally purchased some land that would be permanently theirs.  The family saw no humor in the location of the land – two plots in the cemetery.  The preachers gathered around our Thursday coffee table made a ruckus laughing at the entire idea.  Learn to laugh.  Laughter gives you strength when you need to cry.

Tips 1 and 2 both deal with prayer and time alone with God.  Follow up these first two tips with heartfelt laughter.  Learn to laugh at mistakes you’ve made.  Learn to laugh at situations that might make you cry.  Learn to laugh at cartoon characters.  In short, learn to laugh.

Tip #4: When you need help, seek it from healthy congregations.

Tip #5: Find a friend, a fellow minister, a group of ministers, or a counselor that will confidentially listen to you when you need to talk to someone.

Tip #6: Learn to laugh heartily.

What other tips might you suggest? Feel free to give me some input and some ideas. If you have ideas that you would like this blog to address, please feel free to let us know. Thanks.

As iron sharpens iron, so a person sharpens his friends — Solomon