By George Keralis
Talking “down to” you and talking “above” you are two distinct categories. If I talk down to to you, a condescending attitude usually accompanies my speech. If I talk above you, or over your head, then I fail to understand your level of knowledge of my subject. I need to hone my skills and develop a heart for your level of understanding regarding our topic.
Unfortunately, some of us that have lived and studied long in the academic world tend to be the guiltiest of those who talk “above” people. However, we must not think that only the academics talk above people. You might be a specialist in one or two areas of life. You’ve studied, worked with your hands and collaborated with other specialists. Academics and specialists may tend to use multi-syllable words that exhibit their higher education or vast experience. They may flaunt language unknown to the common person.
Graduate and post graduate work for me in Bible, ministry and leadership development may have spawned discussions about existentialism, post-modernism and pluralism. In some cases, these ideas might may have given rise to deep philosophical and theological discussions over lunch or in the classroom. It was easy to talk about ideas that came from Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, Luther, Campbell or Kiel and Delitzsch. Everyone understood the references.
New preachers fresh out of college or seminary soar over the heads of their audiences when they use words from their biblical language studies, words like the aorist tense or participles or the middle voice. Yes, even those biblical terms like sanctification and propitiation roll off their tongues like hot butter flows over an ear of corn. Church words like fellowship hall, narthex and the Eucharist do not compute in the minds of people who have never attended a worship service.
A new couple visited our congregation on a Sunday morning. I asked the audience to connect with us by filling out our “Connection Card.” Then I asked them to put the card in the offering plate, give it to an usher or leave it in the pew next to them. The man was thoroughly confused. He had no idea what the word “pew” meant. I should have said, “Leave the card in the seat next to you.”
People walk away from our lectures, sermons or speeches saying, “That guy’s smart. But what did he mean by what he said?” People leaving the worship service may realize that you know a great deal. Unfortunately, your intellect goes right over the heads of those listening to you. How does that old saying go? People do not care about how much you know. They want to know how much you care about them. Leaders need to develop a heart for people.
While some of Jesus’ discourses are difficult to understand (John 6), His stories hit home with the people of His day. He speaks of a farmer who scatters his seed over the fields (Matthew 13:1-9), a man that brings in a great catch of fish and separates the good from the bad (Matthew 13:47-50) and a man who plants a vineyard (Mark 12:1-11). These are all common tasks among the people of Jesus’ day. He talks about building houses (Matthew 7:24-27), a widow losing a coin (Luke 15:8-10), a shepherd discovering that a sheep has wandered off (Luke 15:3-7) and a son that rebels against his father while the older brother stays at home (Luke 15:11-32). He tells stories about the flowers, the birds and the rain (Matthew 6:25-34).
When Jesus finished the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew tells us, “the crowds were astonished at his teaching, for he was teaching them as one who had authority, and not as their scribes” (Matthew 7:28-29). Being the Creator of the universe, His authority came from His understanding of nature and human nature. He did not rely on polysyllabic words. He did not quote the most recent copy of Bibliotheca Sacra. Jesus simply told people what He had seen on earth and in heaven. His heavenly concepts were down to earth.
The saddest element about talking “above” people is that many of us do not have the faintest idea that we are not communicating effectively with those to whom we minister. We are ignorant of their circumstances.
My wife reminded me of an incident that happened after the cardiologist performed a heart catheterization for me. The doctor found my wife and asked about the whereabouts of our children. They had gone off to talk leaving mom to wait for the doctor. When the doctor explained my situation to her, he found a piece of paper and a pencil and began to draw a picture of my heart. In the simplest of terms, he explained to her that a blockage occurred at the top arch of my heart. He also explained what steps the surgeon would need to take to correct the blockage and restore my heart to good health. He spoke in simple terms with a picture to illustrate the problem and solution. Later, when he talked with our daughter, who is a nurse, he changed his vocabulary to accommodate His audience.
As a leader, you must be aware of your audience’s level of communication skills. Are you talking above them or are you talking on a level that makes sense to them? Don’t expect the audience to move to your level. As a leader, you must move to their level.
What other prepositions would you suggest that we use to describe talking to one another or communicating with one another? What concerns or ideas do you have that you would like to see this blog address? Drop us a line.
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend — Solomon
